My Guilty Pleasure- Sunday Confessional

I’m a licenced medical marijuana card holder. I qualify because I suffer from chronic depression & Degenerative Disc Disease. There are many ways to use cannabis to medicate without smoking it- pills, oils, creams to rub into your skin, & even edible foods like Rice Krispie treats, granola bars, cereal, & popsicles you can buy so that no one would even know you’re a ‘user.’ BUT, to be completely dead honest with you, smoking pot at night after the kids are in bed is my guilty pleasure. There’s something about filling my lungs, coughing my ass off, & tasting the sweet but skunky flower burning in my pipe that equals unadulterated peace & relaxation for me, a time ALL to myself that I don’t have to share with any one else in this house. I’m not a drinker. One shot, one wine cooler, or one beer & I’m down for the count, snoring til the heavens erupt. I’m not able to get babysitters & go out to clubs, movies, or even for just a ten minute shopping trip without kids in tow. I have no girl friends to gossip with while watching chick flicks or getting manicures, whatever it is that women do with their friends these days. It’s me & my kiddos, 24-7-365 & a hubs whose only around on Sundays since he works 75hrs a week. I’ll be damned if smoking a lil pot in the privacy of the night sky, while all is still in my house, grounds me in a way whereas others would claim to be high. My thoughts wind down to a pace I can sort through them at, not the panicked jet speeds they race at all day long. I can find inspiration for writing, I can set goals & review the progress of those previously made, make to-do lists, & sort through all the short-comings I faced that day & think of ways to do it better next time, & I can just be ME, with no Mom or Wife title attached. Without my guilty pleasure, I don’t think I’d be half the woman or mom I am today, because it is truly my sanity-preserving pleasure, one that I will never feel overly guilty about having. Let’s face it, we ALL find pleasure in releases of any kind. This release just so happens to keep this mom happy, and everyone already knows- when mom ain’t happy, nobody is happy- and smoking pot is my happy place, my guilty pleasure! So go ahead, call me a pothead, I’ll just smile & wink back at you…maybe even pass the bowl your way by the light of the moon.