A Thanksgiving Day Without My Apron

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
My words are: 
turkey ~ corn ~ ships ~ feast ~ gnomes ~ collards
Submitted by: Spatulas On Parade     

First of all, if I could choose to have any day off I wanted, I would choose Thanksgiving. I love the holiday. I love food. I even love the cooking…and feeding lots of hungry bellies as a result of my culinary success, it is one of my favorite forms of self-fulfillment. But, alas, my PTSD and anxiety disorders sabotage my enjoyment and turn the kitchen into my enemy.

Every year, without fail somehow, I end up in tears over the failed feast. Well, actually…I do know how. I’m horrible at time management. Something gets burned, an ingredient forgotten, and I never get the timing down so everything is done at the same time because I only have one gahd-damned oven rack. Plus I try to be social and keep my kids from killing their grandparents all at the same time. Something inside me clicks somewhere during the process and pressure starts building up inside of me; my entire body feels like it’s in a vice and I can’t escape. My mind gets so overwhelmed I forget what I’m doing as I’m about to get busy. I end up yelling at my kids for getting underfoot unnecessarily, getting bitchy with my husband, and condescending towards anyone who winds up in my path.

Which begs me to say, Thanksgiving is a day I should most certainly take off. There’s no point in stressing over a turkey I will probably undercook and then overcook trying to fix the issue after I labored for an hour the day before to create the most gloriously divine flavor-infusing brine to marinade the bird. Or my husband will simply catch it on fire because he didn’t baste and the juices ran over while I was out of the house a few hours. (True story.) I will reheat the corn in its ceramic serving dish, only to forget to use a pot holder to grab it and drop it on the way to the table. No one likes chunky ceramic sprinkles on their food, this I know. The collards will undoubtedly burn to the bottom of their pot because I’ll be so distracted, the little bit of water necessary to steam them will simmer out before I notice. As much as it pains me to let someone else take over my heavenly puffed sweet potatoes and yummy Alfredo green bean casserole, it’s the only sane choice to make.

Now, if the ships would sail on all the anxiety and stress, I would actually enjoy letting someone else pamper me with as fantastic of a Thanksgiving meal as I would’ve made. I would sit back and peacefully watch my surroundings like the ever-present and all-knowing garden gnomes. Enjoy the kids laughter as they chase each about in some kind of zombie cops-n-robbers game instead being angrivated by it. Cuddle up with the husband to cheer on our favored football team in the big Thanksgiving Day game. My feet would be kicked up as I savor the family time we so very often miss with my husband’s otherwise crazy long work schedule. It would be magical to be present in the moment instead of fighting myself to create the moment for everyone else.

My day off would be so joyous,I wouldn’t want it to come to an end! It’s only been eleven years since my last one, after all. Unfortunately, though, I have another fourteen years under my belt before I’ll ever be able to enjoy a Thanksgiving day off from creating kitchen magic. By that time, it’ll be a few grandchildren from my oldest few kids running about, not my own. As much as I can’t bear the thought of them growing up and leaving my nest, it will be a welcome change to the chaotic, anxiety-laden, and angrivating Thanksgiving’s I have now.

One day far from now, I’ll look back on all I struggled through to make the holiday happen and be grateful I have finally earned my day to kick back and eat someone else’s yummy food. Until then, pass the apron and the recipe book, because this mom is getting a jumpstart on her holiday meal preparation before she squirrels off… or flat out forgets. Again.

*Links to the other “Use Your Words”: Baking In A Tornado
Spatulas on Parade
The Momisodes
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Southern Belle Charm
Rena’s World                                           
Never Ever Give Up Hope  
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
The Bergham Chronicles
Eileen’s Perpetually Busy
Confessions of a part-time working mom
Someone Else’s Genius
Climaxed

Day 13 prompt: Describe your ideal day off. What would you do with your time?

By: Kristina Hammer, aka, The Angrivated Mom