Motherhood was waging war against my soul, marriage was suffocating me, and I had lost all touch with the woman I had once known myself to be. I knew I needed to find my way back to happy again and old habits die hard for a reason. It was a struggle for me to make the decision to not only go back to writing as therapy, but take it to the next level and publicize it with a blog. I was in a dark place in my life and wasn’t sure of anything, not even myself. The only way I had ever gotten through the pits of Hell before was by bleeding on paper and the familiar ache in the bottom of my stomach told me it was way past time to let myself at it once more.
It was in this dark place where I was angry with my life and aggravated with the circumstances that made it what it was, The Angrivated Mom was born.
My husband thought the name was silly and a little stupid at first. We looked it up on Google and nothing came up, which was a relief, because everyone knows a blogger is defined not by their author name, but by their brand. Coming into the blogging world late to the game, by about six years, made it difficult to find a name I would love for the duration of my writing journey; one which hadn’t been used in someway before me. I was terrified of encroaching on anyone else’s territory. We popped into the Urban Dictionary to see if it was a widely used word we didn’t know about and only found one listing for it which had been collecting dust until we came across it. I thought it was safe to say that word was available to use as my branding ticket in the blogging world.
Since becoming The Angrivated Mom, Google finally began to show that there was another site with my newly coined word in existence, but since it was a man’s site and he didn’t have any intention on banking off his site as a writer, I thought I was in the clear. I thought I would be the only mom blogger who was known as Angrivated and that it would stay that way.
Along the way, my little blog has picked up some momentum and reaching the goals I laid out for it. My following grew from just a handful of friends and family to a cozy couple thousand people. I met others in the industry and befriended a close knit circle of writers and page owners. It took me awhile to shake the newbie status, but I actually did. Quite recently at that, in all honesty. It was then that I realized how much good had come to me because I taken that first leap of courage by starting my blog. I had found a new perspective on life as I found myself again in The Angrivated Mom and it felt great.
Then, in the blink of an eye, it all came crashing down around me.
While laying in bed at 1a.m., someone I believed was a friend- even after they began distancing themselves after a major life event for the better- and a fellow page owner who only dabbles with writing , sent me a private message on Facebook. In it she told me that she had already taken the word Angrivated and used it to change her Facebook page name. Not asked, but declared. Looking back, I am relieved she did not have a blog to change name as well, because this whole shebang could have been worse for me. Being someone close enough to consider a friend, this person should have had the decency to come to me with her intentions – at a time she knows I will be awake, with certainty, and not the middle of the night when there’s a chance I wouldn’t be coherent enough to comprehend what was being said or awake to discuss the message any farther. But she didn’t.
This so-called friend has broken the sacred bloggers code of ethics.
You do not copy another writer in any way, shape, or form without permission. It isn’t even about stealing the word in itself, because I would love to see it become the next catchy slang term to take off, but the fact that she used it to RE-brand her Facebook page – something that is not on the same career-level seriousness as a blog website and would confuse people searching for the corresponding page to my blog. You don’t see other companies coming up with names like Tides, Targeting, or MacDonald’s to bank on the momentum of a more widely-known brand. It just wouldn’t be good for either company, big or small.
For someone to take the word of a supposed friend in the social media business, though, that really is stooping low. They have only proven how much of a friend they never were in the first place by doing this; especially when that person ran to play the victim the moment I stood up for myself and my blog name, acting like I’m purposely attacking her- bringing our issue to the public in a way which did not allow me to defend myself or my intentions without creating a keyboard war. Besides all that, a real friend would have made contact during waking hours long before they considered putting the change into action. They would know and understand the importance of my personal writing journey and how critical to success the whole original blog name issue is. They certainly would know me well enough to know my heart and the nothing but good intentions I have for everyone I hold dear. Even when I am upset with them.
I never saw this coming. Not in a million years would I have thought I would ever have to worry about someone encroaching on my brand name. Someone I called “friend” nonetheless! Whether I’ve trademarked, copyrighted, or simply just branded Angrivated to myself, it has become the symbol of who I am on social media and it defines me as a writer. People know they are going to get me – raw, emotional, soulful, and vindictive of life me, because I am The Angrivated Mom. My journey to insanity and beyond, and I, will go on. That’s just what I do.