Constraints Of Happiness- SSS July

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Your “Secret Subject” is:

If money and time were no object, what would you do and why?

It was submitted by:  


I’ve been going around and around in my head for two weeks now, trying to figure this one out. And I can’t. I can’t wrap my head around this one and come up with anything as specific as traveling the world, buying a private island escape, or meeting someone from the past like other people would.

You see, time and money are the two things that I hate most about this life. The two things that threaten the well-being of my marriage and my family. For someone like my husband, I could go as far as saying that they are the root of all evil because they are the two things that simultaneously haunt and drive him in life. He can never get his hands on enough of either one.

And I can’t blame him for that, either.

Living right at the border of the National Poverty Level for a family of six isn’t easy for us. Considering that my husband works over seventy hours a week to makes ends meet for us because I’m unable to work at this point in time, it’s not hard to understand why we covet time and money so damn much on a daily basis. We never see enough of one another, we don’t get to share the experience of raising our children together, and we are constantly struggling to keep our finances from drowning us on dry land. Our children don’t have the opportunities to explore their talents and interests because money is the golden ticket they lack, and the only thing required to participate. They’ve never stepped foot in a mall. Or really any major name brand retail store for that matter, beyond the scope of Dollar General or Wal-mart that is. And, even then, a store like Wal-mart is a rare blue moon treat for them.

It just doesn’t seem right that someone who busts his ass for twelve hours a day, six, sometimes even seven, days a week in a grueling steel production machinery shop (making the base for which parts that are critical for building everything from washing machines to hardware tools to automobiles) doesn’t bring home enough money, even with 30 hours of OT on each paycheck. Or has to even put that much time and energy into his job for the measly pay that keeps the bacon on our table. No one should have to sacrifice THAT much only to provide by society’s standards, a meager life. Not a good one. Not a comfortable one. And most certainly not a happy one. I believe Eminem’s infamous “Lose Yourself” song sums up the struggle we face pretty well.

Lonely roads, God only knows, he’s grown farther from home, he’s no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter…                                                                …All the pain inside amplified by the
Fact that I can’t get by with my nine to
Five and I can’t provide the right type of
Life for my family ’cause man, these God damn food stamps don’t buy diapers
And its no movie, there’s no Mekhi Phifer
This is my life and these times are so hard


So, if time and money were no longer part of the equation, I think it’s safe to say that all I would want is to just live happily, peacefully with my family in our own version of dystopia. I would give my family the experiences and opportunities life hasn’t afforded us the ability to have thus far. We would take trips together. Explore our community together. Eat dinner every night as a family unit at a kitchen table big enough for everyone to sit at- something most people take for granted these days. There would be sports practices, art classes, dance lessons, and martial arts training. Everyone would be able to embrace their own unique sense of style as their clothing options would no longer be limited to whatever is available in their sizes at the local secondhand thrift shops. We would be free to focus on our relationships and create the unity we lack as it stands right now. Our family could be the family we all dream of having right now.

And with that dream come true, my husband could finally find some relief and breathe deeply without the weight of providing for his family sitting heavily on his shoulders. Because he deserves to enjoy the family he made just as much as I do. He deserves to see his kids grow, learn, play, and love. He deserves to have a life that isn’t ruled by a paycheck which will be gone before the bills can all be paid in full. Time and money are the two things that bring him the most pain and strife in this world and it breaks my heart to see a great man suffer under their constraints.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado              

Cognitive Script           

The Blogging 911         

The Lieber Family Blog           

The Bergham Chronicles        

Simply Shannon                   

Southern Belle Charm          

Never Ever Give Up Hope       

The Angrivated Mom          

Not That Sarah Michelle       

Bookworm in the Kitchen        

Part-time Working Hockey Mom 


6 thoughts on “Constraints Of Happiness- SSS July

  1. wow what a prompt and post! We are in dire straights financially as well, so I cried as I read this. I don’t know how I would answer either. Part of me would want to buy a house outfight and never have to worry mortgage or rent payments again. Another part of me would want to travel to all the places I always dreamed so my son could experience more than I ever imagined.


  2. Although I certainly sympathize with your struggles, what upsets me the most is that in order for kids to explore their interests, you need to be able to afford it, and it seems all private programs are not just expensive but very expensive. Even at places like the YMCA where programs are cheaper, you have to pay to join just to sign up. It does a disservice to our youth.


  3. This broke my heart. I’ve been there and I know exactly how you feel and it sucks. I really wish I had some answers for you. Life is just too damn hard sometimes especially when you’re trying to do the right thing and bring your family up. It’s shouldn’t be this difficult and it should be decided on money what the kids get to do or not. That just makes me sick, but you will get through it, you just have to stick together no matter what. That would be the worst. Working so hard and then failing. That’s not an option.


  4. I remember those days of hopelessness and despair. I thought they would never end. Between the tears and the anger that wanted to overtake me, I realized the only thing I could do was to focus on better days ahead and never to allow myself to be drowned by what was happening now. Believe me, this too shall pass and the days ahead will get better.


  5. Money and time vex me too. My husband works odd hours and he misses out on a lot. It’s rare for him to be home in the evenings or on weekends and that makes family time hard to pull off. I hope that you are able to grab those rare moments you do have and make the most of them.


  6. I feel guilty having given you this prompt and at one time was in your position. Never having family time and no money for anything that wasn’t an absolute necessity. It broke my heart everyday for my boys. Now I work 80+ hours a week just to meet my very small simple lifestyle. No frills. No shopping. No splurges. I hate that everything hinges on money. I pray things ease up for your family. That your husband can rest and that your kids realize what a great sacrifice his life is for them.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s